How to deal with self cricism ?

self criticism? I have already thought that it is behind me, I teach a ~ women to accept themselves, to love what is there, to respect reality and to see why exactly this is what is perfect and what is true, what are our earnings …. So can a therapist like me with so much seniority have She also has self-criticism? can not be!!! That’s what I thought …. And then, as much as you learn, as you develop, with so much self-awareness, it’s a little unpleasant to admit that there’s criticism and even a lot of criticism.

Does anyone in this wonderful audience have self-criticism? There is not a moment when you say retard! You should have done x and not Y, not good enough, smart, beautiful … not talented enough, not enough know, not enough. The most frustrating and familiar button seems to be all of us.

So it’s that this curse ‘I’m not enough something’ has been so deeply embedded in me, and for over 12 years I have seen it in all kinds of incarnations, each time it comes differently and more and more it chooses to enter such a black area. , She knows that if I see her I will not really open her door with love. You can do a brazilian wax, as something that could help, but that may tak 5-6 days.

So she chooses clever words, chooses to come in some kind of disguise, so she is still the same lady and really not wonderful. I did a lot of work with her, and more, and here are the outlines of an accelerated process of how to work and get rid of destructive criticism:

Before starting the preparatory stage – Identification:
How do you identify the criticism?
Poor mood, sadness, frustration, depression / depression
* Desire to eat without starvation, often consoling carbohydrates
* Unexplained fatigue during the day, like pumping / sunset I call it emotional fatigue
* Escape to some addictive preoccupation like Facebook, smoking ….
* Fear to do something you want, avoidance
* Life blasts in any area that is important to you to promote (relationship, livelihood, weight …)

We identified, what to do with it?

1. Write it on the page, it needs to be published, behind the scenes it’s a bit difficult for us to fight the monster, in light it gets human proportion. The demon and the vampire as soon as they are exposed to melting and dazzling light. The demon is like criticism.
They record it unequivocally without perhaps, without question marks.
For example, am I a good person? Turns into I’m not good
For example: I’m not a good enough therapist, I’m not deep enough, I do not look good enough, I’m not thin enough, not smart enough ….

2. Choose one

3. See the criticism written in front of you, breathe it to agree to see it and what it raises in you, what feelings, feelings, thoughts ….
Brings me sadness, frustration, contempt, humiliation, grief, grief,
The body raises feelings of wrinkled face, closed of the shoulders, less air enters and breathing becomes more superficial, suffocation in the throat

Thoughts that I will not succeed in life, and will not succeed in my relationship that it says that I am without willpower ….

To be with it, to breathe

4. What is the profit of this thought? Possible gains: the victim’s profit, not coping, being right, producing control, blaming others, feeling good that at least I suffer ….

Ask yourself, does profit really exist when you believe in thought? And are you willing to release this profit, that is to agree to be without the criticism and not to receive the profit?

5. Now you can answer these thoughts and explain to them that you have seen them and you are releasing them.
Be your own advocate. Step of choosing good, choose the other side of the coin by choosing an active and powerful act!

Look at the thought. You do not make me feel good. You make me feel very hurt, angry, it hurts me, it paralyzes me, I want to help people, and when you come in I do less. You’re not quite right either. Because I am wonderful, and I help, and I do …. and there is proof … because I trust …. You are depriving me of the joy of life, you were supposed to make me happy in practice is not what is happening..and I am not really in control. … and more and more all you can say to this thought. I’m not interested in you anymore I choose not to believe in you

6. In the end, write to yourself if this thought was not, what would you do, how would you have acted differently without it and will start to act.
Examples: Without the thought that I did not look good enough, I would wear colorful clothes and buy me more clothes, without the thought that I was not good enough – I would dare to put boundaries to unpleasant bosses at work, I would reply to my mother.